| Guns & God |
| 2008-04-22 |
| It was weird watching that Fastball show last night and hearing this president thing going down between Obama and Hillary is going to come down to whether dudes like me are pissed off about everybody knowing we’re “bitter” and “cling” to stuff like guns and god after being screwed over by the man. I’d never really thought about it before I heard all the shit Obama took for saying it out loud. I guess it made a lot of people on tv mad. It also made a few of them happy, (FOXNEWS). Most of my friends just said Duh. I mean, ok I’ve been out of work for a while so I do have plenty of time to be “bitter” and “cling” to my 357. I try and clean it twice a month. Don’t fire it much cuz the ammo is so freaking expensive but it does feel nice to touch when that “cling” thing comes over me. Now the god thing is something I’m not totally sold on. I mean I used to go to mass when I was a kid and I don’t know how many NFL games I had to miss over the years growing up. My mom said God really appreciated what I was giving up but I had my doubts. If there really was a God then he had to be a football fan and he would never make a kid miss a game to hear some old white dude with white hair in a white costume mumble in Latin and sprinkle tap water on me. Then there was all the stuff you had to do during the week like confirmation classes, confession and feeling massive guilt about doing stuff that was supposed to be dirty. The total package sounds more like something the devil might think up and it makes you wonder how they can get so many people to buy into it. Then I start to think about some of the church stuff that was kinda cool. Like the bingo games and raffles. My parents won some neat stuff like an ice chest, a toaster, a vacuum cleaner, a blender, a shovel, a lawn mower, a fondue set, a case of tuna, a painting of some pope, a set of wrenches, a lantern and some other things that I've forgot about so my Dad always said that we got back way more than what we dropped into the collection basket each Sunday. Sort of a win-win situation. I always felt bad for all the people who had to go to churches without gambling cuz that would really be boring. I know some other religions didn’t make you kneel and stand all the time so it would be easy to take a nap but I’m still glad I used to be a Catholic. Even though I don’t get to cling to it these days some of my buddies who are really hurting do when they drop by the church up the street every Monday. That’s the day they give away food. So I’m thinking Obama was right on that one too. Makes you wonder if he was on the money then why is it such a big freaking deal? A guy I know who works at the shoe repair place on my block told me he thinks it’s all a scam. He said Obama is scaring the shit out of people right now so they gotta find something to hit him with. It’s sorta possible he's going to be our next president and there’s a butt load of people out there who would rather that not happen. Even if they have to vote for a woman they can’t stand or a guy that looks a 6 month old loaf of Wonder Bread. You see I think that’s why so many who are into clinging are ok with Obama fronting us off. He sure could have brought up a whole lot of other stuff that would have been way more embarrassing. Like there’s a lot of us out there who still believe you can get VD from a toilet seat. Or that there are weapons of mass destruction somewhere in Iraq, probably in the desert. Or Walt Disney’s frozen head still calls the shots and that he personally picked that Hannah Montana chick and gave her a show. I read it somewhere on that internet thingy. You see there ain’t much I hear from people running for president that is going to make me freak out. It can’t be done so I cut them some slack. Everybody knows they have to throw out a ton of bullshit just to make it from one day to the next. I’m hoping though that Obama kinda lays off telling people the truth for awhile, at least until he get’s the keys to the White House. Then he can spill the beans on everything and what can they do? He can’t get evicted for 4 years so why not let it loose then? Unless he starts hitting on some girl scout touring his crib or get’s caught with a crack pipe they can’t touch him. I do know that if he does get the job then a ton of right wing radio and tv guys are going to love getting up in the morning. They will wet themselves for the 4 years and the chances of him getting re elected after what they will do to him ain’t good. I’m hoping that maybe in that time he might be able to fix just a little of the mess Bush has left behind and that would be more than enough to get his mug on that mountain somewhere near they filmed the Close Encounters Of The Third Kind movie. It would only be fair cuz being president after that doofus leaves office is one fucked up gig. I’m thinking whoever get’s the job is going to have to do a whole lot of clinging and is sure as hell going to be bitter about five minutes after they get done raising their hand and saying I do. This will surely be the biggest “be careful what you wish for” lesson anyone on the face of the earth has ever had to learn. Let's hope that if there is a God out there he or she will show mercy. Later. |
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