| Sexy In A City |
| 2008-06-03 |
Man I gotta tell you, every female I walked by in the Safeway today was talking about this movie about a bunch of chicks from New York City. I guess they were in some cable tv show and now they got their own movie. Now I know a bunch of other dudes from tv have gotten their own movies but most of them were pieces of crap. Especially that guy from Miami Vice, the one with the alligator. Anyway, I guess the ladies will pay 9 bucks for a ticket and 12 bucks for a large buttered popcorn to see these 4 women talk about clothes and sex. Or is it sex and clothes. Or just shoes. They have like total hissy fits over shoes and some of them cost more than my scooter. It doesn’t seem like this could make like 50 something million in one weekend. I could see a kung fu flick raking in this kind of dough but 95 minutes about cougars shopping and stuff? Geez, kinda scary huh? So that’s why I called up the ex wife of a buddy to ask her why this movie was so popular. Yeah, it was really bugging me. Her name was Shelly and a while ago she was totally hot. I think that was before her ex, Greg started up with their kids day care lady. After she found out and dumped him she got sorta bummed out. A while later she started looking like Greg who is pretty tubby. I read a story in Readers Digest about this depression thing after divorces. When it hits women they blow up and with men they stop eating and lose about 100 pounds. I think if this was flipped there would be a lot less depressed divorced people around and the meat markets would really be hopping. Kind of like a dream world. At least for the fat dudes who are way over a tenth of a ton. So back to the movie. Shelly said she got HBO just to see this Sexy In A City show. I guess she is so into it she bought a pair of 700 dollar shoes. Or Greg did as she keeps getting the child support kicked up every six months or so. Don’t think she’s going to ever cut him some slack and I can’t blame her. I mean tapping the day care lady is pretty tacky so maybe when he cheats on her he’ll keep it outside Kindercare. I asked her if the movie was better than the tv program on HBO and she said to ask her again when she see’s it for the 8th time tomorrow night. Shelly said she really likes that Samantha chick. The really horny one. Not that Shelly is loose or anything. I mean I know for a fact that she’s pretty loyal. Like at two Christmas parties I kinda made a move on her when Greg was in the bathroom and she shut me down. I’m not proud of hitting on one of my then best friends wife but at least I told him about it after he left her for the day care lady. I said he could smack me with a closed fist twice in the gut but he gave me a pass cuz I think he was still feeling slimy about what he did. One night about 4 months later though we were out at Taco Thursday inside this sort of biker bar downtown and he did slap me a couple times till I told him not in the face and he stopped. So maybe Shelly likes this Samantha cuz she has good cheekbones or something. It could be more than just that the fact she humps about everything that moves. It has to be since she was watching that show during the years of both of those Christmas parties and you’d think if she wanted to be so like this chick she would have at least slipped me the tongue or something. Now I guess it might have been just me or something but I’m not that gross. Some women dig me. I’ve had about 5 & ½ fiancé’s in the last few years. A couple of them still talk to me. What I’ve figured out is I have what they call issues with my mom. I guess I’m still looking for one as mine died like 15 years ago. It’s nice to have a mom. I never had to go to the Laundromat or make my bed. She would come over to my apartment each day and take care of pretty much everything. It was sweet and what’s wrong with wanting someone like my mom? Since she’s dead and stuff. I could see the problem if she was still alive. It would be weird to want two moms. So oh yeah, back to that sexy movie. Shelly said the main reason why she’s so into it is it’s so not like her life. She doesn’t live in some swanky apartment in a big city with a closet full of really short skirts. She doesn’t have a boyfriend who picks her up in a limo. She doesn’t like those Cosmo drinks. She doesn’t even have one of those Mac computers to write junk on. She said if she ever did she’d never have started watching the damn HBO show or paid money to see it 7 times so far. She said she might have caught a few of those wimpy basic cable episodes where they cut out all the f bombs and boobs. So what I learned about this Sexy In A City thing everyone is talking about is women like things that have nothing to do with their regular lives. If it gets too real then they change the channel or just go see another one of those lame Sandra Bullock flicks. It’s so not like men. We like stuff that’s really real. Like Rocky or Rambo. I guess that’s the biggest difference between guys and girls. Movies. Later. |
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