My P.O.V by Spike Jensen
 

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Hannity's America?
2008-08-11


How cool would it be to have a whole country be your own personal property? That is usually stuff that only Kings and Hitler have ever been able to pull off. I guess until now as this dude has done it but I’m not sure how it went down. All I know is my tv guide says it in black n white, Hannity’s America! Before I actually saw it myself I never would have thought this ex frat boy pin head could ever get this kind of show. I know he does a program with that toy poodle Alan Colmes each weeknight but now he rules cable America. I’m betting all the guys in his frat house are wondering how the hell this happened . I mean they all knew he was a little kiss ass all through college but the place was full of leeches, why him? Why Sean? It’s a pretty amazing story. When I was working on my GED I didn’t have anybody to network with. No contacts to write down in my spiral notebook. No one to push me through the door before I could even walk. Maybe I’m wrong here but I’m guessing you too don’t have a show with America in the title so you understand where I’m coming from. It can’t just be me that thinks no one should be given too much too soon as it can make an already asshole less than human. When I accidentally surf by his face now on FOX NEWS I usually have this really creepy feeling come over me. Kind of like looking at a starving pit bull pick on a cocker spaniel. You know it’s not right to watch an unfair fight but you do on the chance that the pit bull might get run over by a truck before he eats the cocker spaniel alive. In this guys America Republicans are superhero’s who protect us from junk like facts. Down is up and up is down. If I hadn’t tuned into his program I never would have known that Obama’s uppity wife likes Iran more than the USA, that he hangs out with communists and his two kids are future suicide bombers. Where else can you get these scoops? Ok I mean on tv? I know no ones gonna watch a show that’s just about true stuff so FOX NEWS is going to be popular for a long, long time or at least until people start reading stuff besides People and US. We’ll know things have changed when the Safeway has something other than rags with how to lose 40 pounds in a week staring them in the face at the checkout counter. Now I have bought a butt load of those how to get rid of your thunder thighs too but I’m not real proud of it. I’m pretty sure Sean would piss his pants if people all of a sudden started buying Time and Newsweek instead. I’m talking millions and millions of now stupid people who would not be so stupid if they got their info from someone other than this guy but there’s as much chance of Santa leaving Molly Ringwald under my tree at Christmas as that happening. Ok, some of you are probably saying man are you into senior love or what? I know Molly probably peaked 15 years ago but I don’t throw away my favorite t-shirts just cuz they get a few holes in them. In my America she will always be hot! If I had my own show I could clue you in on other crap that makes this country cool, like country death metal-Tequila pop sickles- the Two Corey’s and a bunch of other things that you probably don’t have time to hear about right now. Trying to fight back with this stupid little blog thing is like going to war with a bb gun but it’s better than just rolling over and asking for another helping of doo-doo. That is unless you think that tastes better. It’s your call. Later.

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spike@spudgoodman.com

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