| Limbaugh's BJ |
| 2008-08-15 |
I was visiting my buddy Calvin who works at a Jiffy Lube a few days ago. We go way back to high school where we shared a locker in the 10th grade. I like to stop and hang out with him while he works below the ground draining oil out of cars. Nobody knows I’m down there so sometimes I stay all day. His boss is a total dick though and makes everyone there listen to that gas bag Rush Limbaugh on the radio. AM radio. So I’m watching Calvin dump the oil out of some VW bug when I hear Rush start talking about the dude who ran for president, John Edwards. You know the guy who got some strange stuff after telling everyone he was Ward Cleaver? The guy who got that 400 dollar haircut? The guy who really, really likes to look at himself in the mirror? It was pretty big news when he got busted for being a horn dog like you and me. That’s what always happens when dudes try to be something they aren’t. Did I already say that Johnny boy went off on Clinton when he went for some strange stuff back in the day? No? Well, he wanted to impeach him. So it’s kinda hard to feel sorry for him right now and I don’t have a problem with Limbaugh ripping him. The deal is he then goes off on this riff about the guys wife Elizabeth. Yeah she’s the one who has cancer. The one who had a kid that died. The one in that family just about everyone likes a lot. Guess Limbaugh must have had a tough time the night before. Something made him be so grumpy. Maybe he ran out of his pills. I read somewhere he’s the one who invented the 16 ball, 2/3 Oxycontin cut with 1/3 Viagra and here’s a tip, it’s only for the hardcores as it’ll kill most normal humans. So he says that Mrs. Edwards rambles on a lot and just maybe her husband needed to find another woman who could use her mouth for something other than talking. It took me about 5 seconds to follow what he just said. After I heard Calvin’s boss laughing so hard I started to chuckle a little too until a real creepy feeling came over me. Was I really laughing at a joke about a woman who had the bad luck to be really sick right now? I’ve never had cancer before but I’m guessing it’s a bitch. Her lawyer husband did pipe up about not nailing that chick on the side until his wife’s doc said she was doing better. You gotta admit he does have balls. Not many guys would even think about going there as an angle to get off. I guess he’s hinting he wouldn’t have messed up if the doc had said she had 6 weeks to live. So anyway back to Limbaugh. Now I know I’ve said some not nice things about people before but none of them are maybe dying. This makes what he said lower than just about anything I can think of. What would make a sorta man go this route? Pissed off at all women? He’s been divorced at least 3 times. Even with his Viagra stash the guy can’t keep a woman happy so that’s kinda sad. But does it make it ok what he said? No, people burn in hell for saying things a lot less horrible. Maybe he knows he’s been put on earth to show people what true evil is. It’s not always scary monsters. Sick serial killers or dictators who try to wipe out everyone that doesn’t look like them. I think real evil can fake you out by not looking like it 24/7. It just sort of sneaks up on you and before you know it man it’s too late. This man has about 16 million people who listen to him each day and that doesn’t count Calvin and me who didn’t have any choice. He also has a ton of mini me’s out there like Hannity, O’Reilly and Savage. I mean he’s still the head cheese but there are other wannabes who will try and take it to another level. It just can’t be me that thinks that if there is a god then these guys are on his shit list. Bad things don’t always happen just to good people. I believe it all evens out and that’s what keeps me going cuz there are so many assholes out there and we can’t let them win every time. How fair would that be? Ok, I know life ain’t fair but I am wondering though how these guys would dig jokes about people in their families? The ones who are sick or even already dead? Doubt they would bust a gut. Ok, with Limbaugh that ones just too easy so I’ll take a pass and finish with this, the next time you hear this tubby right wing fuck say anything about a women needing to shut up give him a call when he’s on the air at the EIB Network and ask him when was the last time he got a blow job from the opposite sex without paying for it? You might then pipe in with a quick word that if he ever tried shutting up then maybe marriage number #4 might have a chance. Doubt it but you never know. Anyway gotta go now. Later. |
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