| Goodbye George |
| 2009-01-15 |
| Saying so long to someone can be a bitch. It can tear you up and before you know it make you feel like eating the gun. Yeah, it can be a freaking sad but this isn’t one of those times cuz the most hated wannabe cowboy in the world is about to ride his fancy foreign mountain bike into the smog filled sunset of Dallas, Texas deep into an undisclosed gated community where his new digs are at. Some smarty pants history dudes have already said W is the # 1 President of all time screw ups so I guess that means he leaves his job as the champ and will never be forgotten. I’m pretty sure little kids are going to read about him in beat up history books 50 years from now and definitely remember the name Bush. He’ll be someone their grandparents went off about at Thanksgiving dinners most probably even before the heavy drinking began. It’s always weird when you hear Grandma let a motherfucker fly at the dinner table. Totally throws you off for a few minutes so everyone should start getting ready for it cuz it’s gonna go down all across this country but it’s a good thing as it’s better to let it out than keep it bottled up inside. That would be as unhealthy as smoking 3 packs of Camel non filters a day. I’m not an expert or anything but this George Bush dude has to be the biggest cooler like ever too. Since there were dinosaurs walking around! The kind of guy you don’t want anywhere near you when you need something to go right. Just about everyone knows someone who is just bad news. Everything about them screams “if you hang out with this person you will have the worst day of your life.” Can you name anyone that screwed up more stuff than him? President Jeff Conaway could have gotten at least a few things right. That’s what so flipping strange that he got re elected in 2004. I mean he was in charge when a bunch of guys from that sandy part of the world killed around 3,000 of our people and nobody tried to shit can him. Not even after we all learned he got a bunch of hints in writing from his posse that it was going to happen. Like even after it happened he kept on reading that lame book to that class of bored little kids in Florida when they clued him in about it. I guess he really does like little kids, they listen real good and only ask a few questions, like whether he can order peanut butter sandwiches anytime he wants in the White House or if he likes camping at Camp David. On the last one he must have cuz he camped out a hell of a lot there! Almost as often as he did at his fake ranch. I guess all together he spent less time at the White House than Marilyn Monroe. Not that it ever bugged me. I always thought it was way better to have this man as far away from the place where all the cool statues were. I could just see him blowing them up or something so it was best that he just spent the night somewhere else. You wonder, what does his old man Prez 41 really thinks about Jr?. I know it’s tough for a parent to say their kid is such a fuck up he should be put to sleep for the good of the country. I guess even William Gacy and the Son of Sam had relatives or pen pals that loved them. All I know is thank god those guys with wooden teeth made up that rule like 230 some years ago that he could only hang around for 8 years max. This dude could have made himself King for life or something so let’s look at the bright side here. When an even bigger monster hurricane hits, maybe another war that looks like an easy blowout pops up or someone comes up with a spanking new way to torture terrorist looking dudes (hang them upside down in a meat locker for a couple weeks before tossing them into an easy bake oven to thaw out) he just won’t be there anymore to put his special touch on junk. Do you wonder what he’s gonna do now that he can’t freak out the world anymore? Will he take a part time job or something to fill up his day? I know he’s gonna get a little bored so let’s hope he doesn’t do anything stupid like talking some military guys into putting him back in charge. I guess they do this all time in other countries but it wouldn’t be cool here. When we really don't like a politician in America we really, really don't like them and it lasts a long, long time. I’m thinking if he was a vampire or something and could live forever maybe in 3028 he could make a comeback. By then his younger bro Jeb would have had his 8 years and maybe his daughter Jenna would last 4 years tops (she for sure gets popped for a couple DUI’s so the second 4 would be a no go) so it might be doable. Not as president again (though if he died and came back as a vampire I don’t think those floundering fathers wrote any rules for anything but humans) so maybe he would have a shot at like sergeant at arms or even a spot on Dancing With The Stars or something. Time will tell I guess. Right now it’s just time to say catch you later to Prez 43. I do know though it will never be the same again on Keith Olbermann’s show or on Fastball and that’s as good a reason as any to break out the crack pipe to make it through the night. I really do hate drugs but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to get by. I mean we all can hope that some total asshole politician will come forward and make it fun to watch cable news shows again but if not then I guess I gotta go back to checking out Cheaters, Jerry Springer and The View. Man, on that depressing note I will sign off for now. Later. |
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