| GOP's Drug Kingpin |
| 2009-03-03 |
Rush Limbaugh has to be the first ex (?) junkie to ever be the head cheese of a political party in this country. Do you remember when drug war vets like him would be spit on and thought of as scum but times sure have changed. What a great country we live in huh? I guess he’s kind of the daddy figure to republicans and without him they would probably just start the insurgency right now so I guess it’s way better he’s not locked up in some prison like all the other drug addicts. I mean don’t you think a wild mob is a lot scarier when no ones in charge? If Limbaugh was a rapper though he wouldn’t have much street cred cuz he’s never walked the talk. The story in the papers I read about him said he was such a pussy he was too chicken to even try and score his own dope with the neighborhood pushers. No, Rush sent out his maid to keep him in drugs I’ve never even heard of, like Lorcet, Norco and hydrocodone (Jethro Bodine junk I think). Kinda pitiful isn’t it? If the help didn’t come through for him then he just went doctor shopping in 3 different states, begging for a fix. He must have been really good at it too cuz he got like 19 different prescriptions for a butt load of pills. So many that the whole state of Utah could have stayed high for maybe 6 months. I don’t know if Limbaugh would have changed his mind about locking up all drug users for life if he himself had ever been locked up along with other criminals. We’ll never know cuz when he was popped he got a really, really, really expensive mouthpiece and never did one day in stir. No, instead he just got told that drugs were bad and went to rehab. Kind of like it would be if drug’s weren’t illegal. Cuz they are illegal you could say he got kind of a sweet deal. Cuz they are illegal you could also say it wasn’t real fair either, especially if you were locked up for enjoying drugs yourself. Sometimes when you get up close and personal with people that make you sick it somehow lets you learn that they aren’t as bad as you thought they were. I think if Rush had gone to prison he would have done ok and been pretty popular, his buddies inside maybe wouldn’t have become ditto heads but at least the white supremacists guys would have let him join their club and probably even made him grand dragon or something even cooler so getting off from his beef might have been one of those “be careful what you wish for” deals. He may have missed the best 10 to 20 years of his life. Killer ratings on the radio are one thing but being the king of a cell block is taking his game to another level. When you think about it the Republican party is way more liberal than the Democrats. I mean they may hate our black president but they do love a junkie and no way would any other party in America would be brave enough to pick some dude with a 10 ton monkey on his back to be their main man. The liberals would probably punk out and not even let a dude like him show up at their convention but these conservatives really have a set of balls. They would not only let him in the building but they’d suck his wiener too in front of the whole world. Why? Maybe the party thinks they need to be his sponsor and help him kick. Or they worry about making him feel bad if they told him the truth, that a tubby old white drug addict is not the best front person for a party that is about to be a small gathering instead. How brave are they knowing that soon their party will be as popular as polio while they stand by their man? Pretty fucking brave I think. I just saw him on the news tonight speaking at some conservative convention a couple days ago and he looked so hopped up on speedballs that I thought he was going to pogo off the stage and break a leg while doing his act. I mean he had some serious sweat dripping down his puffy face and I thought only in America would a sad dude like this have a shot at being somebody. You know Celebrity Rehab would take him in a second but other than that he would have no shot at show biz without the kindness of the Republican party and you have to give them some love for being so nice to this loser. I’m tired of them getting that bad rap for dissing everyone who wasn’t white, rich and a golfer. Ok, you could say Rush is all three of these things but he’s more, like a stinking drugged up maggot piece of crap too and he’s pretty much the head of their party so how cool is that? Because of Rush Limbaugh I have had to re think everything I’ve always thought of Republicans and it feels good to admit it. This man does need a helping hand right now as he tries to stay with his 12 step program, submit his UA’s and lead the party of Lincoln. It won’t be easy but he knows not just any junkie could even try to pull this off. He’s Rush freaking Limbaugh and if anyone can do it he will. Just don’t be real surprised that sometime real soon he may be found face down in his own vomit, his solid gold EIB microphone hanging in some pawn shop and ditto heads everywhere asking where did daddy go? Probably to a better place. Time will tell. Later. |
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