| Strip Clubs |
| 2009-06-21 |
| It’s been a few years since I kinda used to dig going to strip clubs. Maybe even more than a few. Now that I have like bills and a sorta grown up life it just doesn’t do much for me anymore. Does that make me gay? Maybe. It’s possible but I don’t think so. It’s probably more everything gets old, even pizza (after the 6th day in a row), sleeping and Roller Derby (ok maybe not). I do know that staying away from those freaking places has saved me a ton of dough. I remember when I was like 19 or 20 and I would drop my whole paycheck on a Friday night. Forget about the champagne room, I was so stupid I would buy every dancer in the place nacho’s at 20 bucks a pop. And about the pop, that would set me back 10 bucks a shot. No beer at the joints in my area. No, thank god. Don’t even want to think how much more I would have blown if I was downing Bud Light all night instead of stale 7 Up. Since all I do these days, especially since I’ve been able to splice into my upstairs neighbors cable hook up again is watch tv. The dude (Josh) lives with his mom and she buys him anything he wants. We are talking all the pay channels. So for me as long as it’s rated R or TV MA I’m there. I mean if you got cable who wants to watch the lame crap on regular tv? And I am glued to the stuff with skin in it so there’s no way I’m gay ok? So lately I’ve been keeping a scorecard of how many tv shows and movies have scenes of strip clubs in them. Here’s a hint, it’s a butt load! Like about 4 or 5 a day if I’m watching after 8 at night. Hey I can even find at least 1 or 2 before lunch if I try hard. When I added them all up at the end of the month that’s when I started asking why? I mean you’d think the big wigs (mostly dudes) in Hollywood wouldn’t want to be such copycats but no, so I’m thinking they just like hanging out at those places to film. Or they make their own strip clubs at their fancy movie studios. I guess then they just hire some fake strippers and bus them in to go one on one with a prop pole. Sounds so lame but it must work for the directors (again basically dudes) cuz they keep putting them into just about every thing you see these days. I wonder how much the girls actually get paid? I’m thinking the suits probably just promise them a walk on in one of those shitty soft core movies they put on after mid night and that does the trick. So then I started wondering if make believe strip clubs have jumped the dolphin then what about real ones? I hear the ladies still dig going to those Chippenwhale shows but would they if they had to sit through wall to wall over tanned hairless posers on the screen all day too? I know most women don’t get tired of chocolate, Starbucks and guys listening to them talk about junk but if they had to look at (and dream about) as many naked bodies that we guys do they might OD too. I’m not saying this “can’t eat one more bite” thing lasts more than a few minutes cuz if any guy lived in the shower room at a Curves and saw hundreds of women each day towel off in front of him he’d still jump at a free lap dance by a non fake stripper any day, any time. I think it’s just the make believe strippers that just don’t cut it anymore for me and I’m betting for most other guys too. If I’m right about this then it’s really gonna cause the movie and tv writers a real hassle cuz they still have to fill up a script and without the old strip club angle to go to when they run out of ideas then they got real problems. Like filling about 10 minutes in 93% of movies and 71% of all cable programs. Then the other problem is what to do with the fake strippers? They would still need jobs. You know Obama is trying so hard to keep the car makers in business and hand the huge banks enough cash to stay open but I don’t think he and his posse have even thought about what happens to the economy when everyone finally wises up about fake strip clubs being so played out. Where are the fake strippers going to find work? I mean if I’m right about this then we are talking maybe a couple hundred thousand ladies that could be out looking for a real job so the politicians better pay attention to this thing. I guess Republicans could just yell at them to pull themselves up by their garter straps and try working at a real all nude club. I’m thinking the girls are probably going to be pissed though when they find out they have to work for like 8 hours straight in a dark, stinky place that gets raided all the time by vice cops. For sure I don’t think morale is going to be real high at first but after awhile they might get used to it. It would beat working at KFC but the problem is there are way more fake strippers out there than jobs for real strippers. What about the ones who can’t find a gig? They will have nowhere to be naked and that is so wrong. Maybe they could just dance and walk around nude at like the mall or at bowling alleys. Maybe give them a couple lines to say to people while they were doing their thing. They get a chance to keep up the acting chops. Be seen by real, non Hollywood guys who might even tip them and we get to see naked women. Now that’s a win-win deal. I gotta go now cuz my neighbor Josh is going the pay per view route tonight and I don’t wanna miss it. If his mom is gone then we are talking must see tv. Later. |
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