| Could You Be Friends With You? |
| 2009-10-21 |
| So I met this guy at the 7-11 couple nights ago and I can’t stop thinking about what he asked me. It wasn’t a question like do you dig nuts in chocolate chip cookies or not? Naw, this one was deep man and I have a tough time with those kinda questions. He asked if I could be friends with me and I didn’t have an answer. I just told him I would get back to him and hopefully I don’t see him for awhile cuz if I had to be honest there’s a good chance I would have to say maybe not. It’s not that I’m one of those haters who can’t stand themselves. You know the kind of guy who cuts on himself and does really dangerous stuff cuz they don’t want to hang around that long. I like living and don’t plan on checking out any time soon. I also don’t puke when I look in the mirror so I’m thinking that’s another good sign that I kinda don’t mind being me right? Just before he got on the bus this guy said he was best friends with himself and that I should give it a shot too. Not like making him my best friend. No, what he was saying was I needed to let me have fun with me. Maybe go to the zoo alone and soak it all in without anyone else babbling about stupid shit. Definitely buy myself some kettle corn and just cut loose. It could be a blast if I had enough bread to do it up right. See that’s the problem a lot of the time, not enough money to for me to go out and show myself a good time. Instead I mostly hang out in my apartment watching Dr. Phil and Dexter. I know if I had a better job I could save up and take me to like El Paso. Now that would be something I would never forget. I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of guy I am and what people really say after meeting me. I always use to think most everyone figured I was pretty neat but since I only have about 2 & ½ real friends maybe I’m fooling myself. How lame would it be if I find out that I’m really just this disgusting piece of human flesh and I’m damn lucky to have those 2 & ½ friends. I should probably say right now that 1 & ½ of them are basically family. Larry is a cousin and the half friend is Sean, a nephew who moved away to Idaho so I only see him at Christmas and Columbus Day when he comes back to visit his mom. If I figure out that I can be my own best friend it would bring my total friend number to 3 & ½ and that isn’t as weak don’t you think? Do you like yourself? I don’t mean put up with, I'm talking really, really like you? I remember another thing that guy at the 7-11 said and it really stuck with me, something about if you make yourself sick after being alone for more than a half hour then there’s a good chance everyone else will find you gross too. It makes sense. I know if there’s nothing on cable at night I do bore myself to sleep a lot. I think I should sit down a write up a list of things about me that are cool. Stuff that would make me want to hang out with me if I wasn’t me. Like how good at Frisbee golf I am. Or how quickly I can down a Bud Light (4.2 seconds). And maybe even my Buffalo nickel collection. Once I start the list it may take me awhile to finish it up cuz I have skills you know what I mean? Hopefully that is a good thing. I mean would that make some people uncomfortable? Hanging out with a dude who is so good at everything? I know I sometimes feel creepy around a guy who is always just a tiny little better at something than me. It doesn’t happen much but when it does I do get sorta pissed. How about you? If I did make a list of good things about me I probably should put down a couple things that people have said they can’t stand about me too cuz I might agree with them. Ok, I snore like Metallica. Lost a bunch of girlfriends over that. Oh I have dandruff sometimes and a couple people have ripped me for eating with my mouth open too much. Again, mostly women. There’s probably more bad things to put down but I don’t want to look like a total dickhead. I know I got some issues but what I’m saying here is I’m still willing to take a chance on myself. What the hell do I have to lose? I may even learn to like me. You never know, it could happen. I guess that was the lesson the guy was trying to teach me. How can anyone expect others to want to hang out with you if you wouldn’t do it yourself. Hang out I mean. It just makes a lot of sense man. I should probably end this thing now cuz my upstairs neighbor is having a limbo party tonight. She didn’t exactly invite me but since she borrowed this grass skirt I bought at a garage sale a couple years ago it should at least get me in the door. I will let you know how I did. Not with the limbo contest but with the women. She has totally hot friends who are way out of my league so there’s a good chance I might be the only one there who likes me but BFD. Wish me luck. Later. |
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