| Halloween |
| 2009-10-28 |
What to be on Halloween? That is like the question of the year for me right now. Bigger than that public option thingy, bigger than the Phillies hopefully kicking the ass of the Yankee’s and yeah bigger than even whether I should get a flipping flu shot. Yep, the pressure is on and don’t know for sure if I’m gonna choke or not. This year I just can’t wuss out and go with that really, really tired ghost (cheap) costume of mine again. We are talking the top sheet from my bunk bed. It wasn’t too lame when I was in junior high but now everyone else has stepped up their game so much I just can’t handle another Halloween feeling like a piece of crap. I mean when I see little kids with outfits from like Saw 6 I feel so ashamed. One year, I think it was like 2005 I tried to swing for the fences and dressed up like Dick Cheney but everyone thought I was either Mr. Magoo or FDR so I guess I didn’t pull it off very well. A friend of mine gave me what he wore last year but I didn’t think it was cool when he did it so I sure as hell am not going to dress up as Ted Bundy too. Something’s are just wrong. Like this girl I met at Denny’s last Friday night. She says she’s going to a party dressed as Ann Coulter and I told her to carry a lot of handi wipes cuz she’s about to get a lot of produce and who knows what else tossed at her. She didn't care. I guess people like her are not afraid of anything. That’s not me. I am afraid of stuff. A lot of stuff. Like masks. They make me feel like my head is stuck in a Tupperware container. And for me that’s not a good thing. The fake blood too kinda gives me the creeps. Not that it makes me think that I could be bleeding out as I party on but cuz it feels so weird on the skin. Sorta like day old snot. And oh yeah, the vampire fangs. I’m not talking about the candy ones, no I mean the plastic ones that start to hurt like hell and cut the roof of your mouth up after a couple hours but man if you’re at a party and are dressed up like a killer vampire it’s a buzz kill when people see you with regular teeth. Game over so you suck it up until daylight and go home to ice your mouth. And people call Halloween a fun night? I was thinking maybe I should ask anyone now reading this to get back to me with some suggestions as to what I should be this year. You couldn’t do any worse than me doing the ghost thing again so let me know what you are doing. If we don’t go to the same party then no one will think you stole my idea so there’s no real down side for you and if it’s a really good idea and it doesn’t cost too much to put together I will promise to like wash your car or clean out the litter box at your place. Just remember though I will not go out in public dressed as either an arc welder or a male nurse. Everybody has their limits. Later. |
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