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| 2009-01-16 | Run for Cover | |
| Things have been pretty slow on the job front. So slow, in fact, that I have time to write something here. And, believe it or not, my situation "between assignments" also opened up an opportunity to work behind enemy lines. Network administration may have its ups and downs, but everybody needs a roof over their heads, even in Redmond. I've been working for a few months for my friend's uncle, who's a roofing contractor. And would you believe it, our latest gig was right on The Campus itself. Seems Balmer and company decided to build a big new parking garage and, like any Microsoft development, some of the finer points (like rain resistance) were left for a later patch bundle. We were the implementors of said patches, applied to the roof of said garage, and what an experience that was. Because, in the fine Microsoft tradition of bloatware, this wasn't just a garage, it was an office building. And, the inhabitants of that building gave a whole new meaning to the phrase "idiot savant." When we first arrived, we were greeted with the usual pseudo-jokes ("Hey, you guys really keep on top of your work!") and smug superior attitudes from the bug jockeys. It's amazing that no matter how lame you are, you can still find someone to look down on, and these Prius driving dorks certainly look down on people who work. But the weirdest part came on December 23rd. These hyper-geeks must have been having the yuletide LAN party to end all LAN parties, because they were carrying cases of beer into the building with them at 8:00 in the morning, and soon things started to get ugly in unintended ways. Some of the liquored bluescreeners got ahold of the paging system, and like AV room attendants alone in the school, started playing with it, and we were the tokens of their affection. "Hey, roofers! We really appreciate you guys! Thanks for fixing our roof! You guys are all right!" Yeah, like the biggest Christmas gift I could get from a bunch of drunken softies is to know they thought I was all right. Anyway, it got so annoying that Uncle called it quits at 11:00 and gave us the rest of the day off with pay, just to get the hell out of there. So, I guess I could count that as a Christmas bonus of sorts. Anyway, that job is done, and I hear most of the garage denizens are now part of the massive layoff, so there is a sort of cosmic justice. And as for me, I've got an interview at WaMu tomorrow. Hey, even companies on the way out need IT people thay can trust, and who's more trustworthy than a guy who knows going in it's only a temp gig. Wish me luck. |
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| 2008-04-07 | Well, Anyway | |
| OK, the injunction's been lifted and I can blog again. I'm not supposed to discuss the settlement, but let's just say that some people take non-disclosure agreements a lot more seriously than others do. In the intervening few months, I've had some time to reflect on this whole Yahoo (I refuse to use the bang) takeover thing. My take on this may surprise you, but I'm all for it. Why? Because Yahoo is no longer un-evil. They've been in bed with the Chinese for a long time, self-censoring their site for fear of losing The Mandate of Heaven in the Middle Kingdom. So who cares if the thing they're afraid to mention is Linux or Tibet? There's no such thing as a semi-free press. If Yahoo is going to go under, what difference is there if they're kowtow'ing to Chairman Mao or Chairman Bill? Think about it. |
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| 2007-05-17 | Belly of the Beast | |
| OK, I've been laying low for a while. It's not like Spud pays me for this gig, and Gates and Company are such downers anyway, it's pretty hard to get motivated. But something happened this week that is, as the people with teaching degrees would say, "worth sharing." Usability Study. Ever heard of that? It's what Microsoft does to interact with their victims^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hcustomers and get their opinions on new products. I don't know how it happened, but I got on the mailing list for one of these and I received an email (full of HTML crap, of course) inviting me to Redmond to give the softies my opinion on some new product. Will wonders never cease. How could I refuse? Tuesday at the appointed time, I show up on the Microsoft "campus" with a map directing me to the designated building. No, it wasn't Building Eleven, the super-secret bunker with the fake tennis courts on the roof to make it invisible on Google Earth. It was Building Twenty-Something, right near the entrance, the easier for the security guards to escort you out if you turn out to be Richard Stallman or something. After being met in the lobby by a perky marketing type I was ushered into a dimly-lit room outfitted with a PC, three video cameras, two microphones, and a floor-to-ceiling one-way mirror which occupied an entire wall. Ol' Man Ballmer himself could have been behind it, just three feet from me and I wouldn't have known it. After signing a bunch of legal releases saying I wouldn't sue Microsoft for lead poisioning, radiation burns or carpal tunnel syndrome as a result of what I was about to do, I was introduced to the killer new product: The Hyper-Mouse. This is apparently the product that Microsoft hopes will strangle the i-Phone in the cradle. It's a combined laser mouse, cell phone and mp3 player with a flip-up cover revealing a texting keyboard. "You'll never have to touch the keyboard again!" was their pitch. The mouse even had voice recognition software you could use to create documents without typing. I tried growling into it in my best Darth Vader voice "I AM your father, Linus!" Blue-screened the damned thing. The saga continues in part two... |
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